Male Bonding
by Data Girl 3
Summary: A short drabble set in the Rash Defamation universe, but not actually a part of my 'There's Always a Crisis' series. Killian, Jefferson and Robin try to take David out for a drink while the women are having a spa day.


David Nolan flipped through the filing cabinet at the sheriff's station, trying to make some headway at reorganizing the paperwork. However, he glanced over his shoulder when he heard the sound of footsteps making their way down the hall. As such, he saw Killian casually entering the room, as if it was something he did on a regular basis.

"Hook," David commented, turning away from the filing cabinet. "If you're here to see Emma, she's not here."

"Aye, I know," Killian replied. "She told me was invited to go on that ladies spa day Ruby was putting together for Lady Snow, so she'd have some much-needed pampering before the little prince or princess arrives."

David instinctively gave a short nod of confirmation. Mary Margret was quickly reaching the estimated due date for their new baby and was getting quite anxious. He knew it was to be expected, particularly after they had to send Emma away immediately after she was born. Not to mention that scare they had a few months back, when the unborn baby's soul was briefly captured. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't concerned, too, considering their past luck when it came to having children. But for Mary Margret, the hormone levels associated with the pregnancy were making things much worse for her. When David had confided in Ruby about this, she had immediately organized a special ladies-only trip to the local spa for facials and mani-pedis, in the hopes that it would help her best friend unwind a bit. Last he'd heard, Ruby had gotten RSVPs from practically everyone she'd invited, including Emma.

"If you knew Emma wasn't in today," David continued, "why come here?"

"We'd actually come to see _you_ , Dave," Killian announced. Before David could question him on the use of the plural, he saw Robin and Jefferson appearing behind the pirate.

"We figured," Robin stated, "since the women are all off at the spa, it probably gives us the chance to have a get together of our own."

"Besides, I seem to remember it was customary in the Enchanted Forest to treat a father-to-be to a pint or two," Jefferson added. "So, we're here to bring you down to the Rabbit Hole."

"I can't just drop everything and go off for a drink," David pointed out. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm at work right now."

"Yes, I can see it's a _very_ busy day for the town's law enforcement," Killian quipped. "Besides, I know for a fact that Emma already catalogued those old case files three days ago, so I'd say you've been freed from your only available task."

David started to glance between the filing cabinet and Killian, trying to figure out if his statement about Emma already cleaning out the old files was true or if he was just making it up nullify the excuse. Before he could make up his mind, Robin strode forward to pick up David's coat, which had been draped over the back of a desk chair.

"Don't even try to worm your way out of this one, David," he instructed. "I think the town can survive without you for an hour."

However, as Robin extracted David's coat from the back of the chair, the desk chair rolled back slightly, revealing a cardboard box filled with stuffed dolls that had been resting on the seat.

"What's that?" Jefferson asked, stepping over to get a better look.

"Oh it's something Henry's working on," David explained. "It's for the baby. Some sort of diorama, I guess. He was going to fill it up with representations of our family and friends, so the baby would know how many people there are who care about him in this town. But since he wanted it to be a surprise for Mary Margret, Emma and I said he could store them here."

"Wow, that's a creative idea," Jefferson commented as he rooted through the box. "And it looks like he's got everyone in here. Ariel, Cinderella, Belle, Jiminy Cricket, Tinkerbell….huh, even the dwarfs.

"Hold on," Killian spoke up, suddenly eyeing the box in consternation. "When you say _everyone_ , you don't mean…."

"Worried about _this_?" David chucked, pulling a Captain Hook doll out of the box and showing it to everyone.

"Oh, bloody hell," Killian groaned, making a face as he glared at the doll in David's hand. "Is it really necessary to expose the little prince or princess to how I'm portrayed in that travesty of a movie?"

"Hey, you think _you're_ poorly represented?" Jefferson challenged, holding up a Mad Hatter doll. "I'm apparently a buck-toothed balding midget."

"At least they got your species right," Robin muttered, looking despairingly at the plush toy in his hand. "Whose idea was it to turn me into a fox?"

" _That's_ what you're complaining about?" Killian argued. " _Everyone_ was an animal in that movie. And they didn't completely alter things to make _you_ the villain, with Prince John and the Sheriff of Nottingham presented as the good guys, did they?"

"What about me?" Jefferson stepped in. "You two were still portrayed as important figures in the story. What point did _I_ play in the movie? And to make it worse, they actually made it look like I was best friends with the March Hare, the man who killed my wife!"

"Okay!" David interrupted, trying to break up the argument. "I think we _all_ can agree Disney didn't do _any_ of us justice. I'm no exception to that, either. I was nothing more than a plot device in the movie. Unless you count the song my character sings, I only had _one line_ in the entire film."

Killian, Robin and Jefferson all remained silent, unable to come up with an argument to that comment. Shaking his head, David returned the dolls to the box.

"All right," David relented, pulling on his coat. "I suppose we could _all_ use a drink after that conversation. Let's go to the Rabbit Hole. But only for _one_ drink. Technically, I am still on the clock, so I probably shouldn't be drinking anything."

"What's the problem, Davey?" Killian teased as the four men exited the sheriff station. "Afraid you might break out into a rousing rendition of ' _One Song_ ' if you have more than one beer?"

"I could always lock you up in one of those cells, Hook," David reminded. "I have the authority to do so. Keep that in mind."


End file.
